In my control freak nature, I have become a dictator in my own home! I have a certain way for everything and I really do not like it when something is not done my way. I have been known to clear all the towels out of the closet and refold them after some well meaning family member has worked hard to do it for me, just because they weren't folded MY way!! Wow, it makes me cringe to think of it.
In Chapter 6, I love the 'Two Plus Two Equals Four' section. It is a great reminder that there are more than one way to do things.
I am learning, slowly but surely, that not everything has to be MY way. There is no right way to a lot of things. If something is dangerous then of course there needs to be a change but most of the time it's a matter of preference.
This verse: She watches over the activities of her household ~ Proverbs 31:27 HCSB reminds me that my job is to watch over not do everything!! I need my families help to make our house run smoothly. However, they aren't likely to help me if I am so particular.
My prayer is that I will learn to loosen the grip.
Lord,
I want to be a wife and mother who watches over my household and enlists others to help so we can work together. I want to be calm and peaceful so that I can set the tone for my home. Help me to let go of this deep need to over control. Help me to trust You in all situations so that I will be more calm.
Thank You.
Amen
July 25, 2009
What God has brought together....
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
My Valentine Proposal
I am one of those girls who really isn't in to the whole roses and candy and forced love because the calendar, and society, says you have to. In fact, I would much prefer to celebrate love every day. I have tried to make it a special day for my kids so that they know they are loved by me and especially by a loving God. If you read my blog last year you know about the "Pink Party" tradition my family started. If you haven't read that, you can here: http://robinsonfamily2009.blogspot.com/2012/02/our-pink-party.html.
Anyway, 4 years ago, I was a widow with 5 kids and I had met a wonderful, sweet, and Godly man. We had been dating for awhile and I already knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I was pretty sure he felt the same way. However, he hadn't asked me yet. I was sure he would pick a fabulous way and an equally fabulous day, like Christmas or New Years Eve or even New Years Day. All three of those days had come and gone with no question and no ring. I was beginning to wonder.
I discussed it with my bestest friend, my cousin Summer. She said "Maybe he is waiting to ask you on Valentine's Day!" I replied, "Uh, no, pretty sure not that day." She was confused because she had met him and she was also pretty sure he was smitten with me as well. So she questioned how I could be so sure. I sheepishly said "Well, we were talking about Valentine's Day and how so many people become engaged or get married on that day and I sort of said I thought it was hokey! I told him I would never want a Valentine's wedding or proposal." She was flabbergasted! "Tell him you changed your mind!" As if that would make a difference. "Yeah, right, like he would believe that. I guess I'll just have to wait and wonder."
Well, Valentine's day was approaching and he told me he wanted to do something with me that day. My sweet friend Sandy came the Friday before to be part of our pink party and to watch the kids on Saturday. We had our pink party and made plans for him to pick me up the next morning.
As we were leaving my house, he handed me a small envelope and a rose. In the envelope were a card with a message from my brother, a card with a message from my cousin and a little note explaining it. The note said that my house was the place he first met my family and he knew how special they are to me. There was another small card that just said 'Will'. Next, we drove to the Highschool and parked by the football field. He handed me another rose and a card from Nathan and a note that explained this place. The note said that this was the first time I asked him to pray with me when Nathan had been injured playing football. Another small card inside just had the word 'You'. I was crying from the sweet things Nathan had to say and the realization of where this was going. He decided not to give me any more of the One word cards until later.
The day continued with visits to many of the places we had visited while dating. The last place was a small spot on the 5 mile drive at Point Defiance park overlooking the water. He handed me all the cards that had one word on them and asked me to put them in order. While I was busy working he played the guitar and sang worship songs. When all together they said "Will You Spend The Rest Of Your Life" and then he pulled one more out of his shirt pocket that said "With Me" and had a ring attached! I was speechless! He had managed to surprise me. I later found out that he had also sent me the same message in texts over a number of days. The first word of the first text each day was one of the words in the proposal message. I guess it goes without saying, he puts a lot of thought into things! :)
Later when I asked him why he decided on Valentine's Day after what I had said he replied "Because I knew it would be the last day you would think I would do it."
So now Valentine's Day has new meaning for me. It is the day he asked and I said Yes!
Anyway, 4 years ago, I was a widow with 5 kids and I had met a wonderful, sweet, and Godly man. We had been dating for awhile and I already knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I was pretty sure he felt the same way. However, he hadn't asked me yet. I was sure he would pick a fabulous way and an equally fabulous day, like Christmas or New Years Eve or even New Years Day. All three of those days had come and gone with no question and no ring. I was beginning to wonder.
I discussed it with my bestest friend, my cousin Summer. She said "Maybe he is waiting to ask you on Valentine's Day!" I replied, "Uh, no, pretty sure not that day." She was confused because she had met him and she was also pretty sure he was smitten with me as well. So she questioned how I could be so sure. I sheepishly said "Well, we were talking about Valentine's Day and how so many people become engaged or get married on that day and I sort of said I thought it was hokey! I told him I would never want a Valentine's wedding or proposal." She was flabbergasted! "Tell him you changed your mind!" As if that would make a difference. "Yeah, right, like he would believe that. I guess I'll just have to wait and wonder."
Well, Valentine's day was approaching and he told me he wanted to do something with me that day. My sweet friend Sandy came the Friday before to be part of our pink party and to watch the kids on Saturday. We had our pink party and made plans for him to pick me up the next morning.
As we were leaving my house, he handed me a small envelope and a rose. In the envelope were a card with a message from my brother, a card with a message from my cousin and a little note explaining it. The note said that my house was the place he first met my family and he knew how special they are to me. There was another small card that just said 'Will'. Next, we drove to the Highschool and parked by the football field. He handed me another rose and a card from Nathan and a note that explained this place. The note said that this was the first time I asked him to pray with me when Nathan had been injured playing football. Another small card inside just had the word 'You'. I was crying from the sweet things Nathan had to say and the realization of where this was going. He decided not to give me any more of the One word cards until later.
 |
| Putting the cards in order |
The day continued with visits to many of the places we had visited while dating. The last place was a small spot on the 5 mile drive at Point Defiance park overlooking the water. He handed me all the cards that had one word on them and asked me to put them in order. While I was busy working he played the guitar and sang worship songs. When all together they said "Will You Spend The Rest Of Your Life" and then he pulled one more out of his shirt pocket that said "With Me" and had a ring attached! I was speechless! He had managed to surprise me. I later found out that he had also sent me the same message in texts over a number of days. The first word of the first text each day was one of the words in the proposal message. I guess it goes without saying, he puts a lot of thought into things! :)
 |
| The sunset right before the proposal |
Later when I asked him why he decided on Valentine's Day after what I had said he replied "Because I knew it would be the last day you would think I would do it."
So now Valentine's Day has new meaning for me. It is the day he asked and I said Yes!
Let go, girl!
As I said in my last post, I struggle with control. I have lots of excuses, ahem....justifications, for this but the bottom line is that it is rooted in pride and mistrust. I think I know better and I don't really trust any one, including God, to do it just right. I am pretty sure that if I want a job done right I will have to do it myself!
The online study I am involved in is using the book "Let. It. Go." by Karen Ehman. I am learning a lot in just the first few chapters. I am learning where I struggle most and how to give it up to God. My prayer is that I will continue to let go and let God and walk away from my pride and fully trust Him with the results.
Lord,
I confess that I struggle with control. I confess that my pride and mistrust usurps Your authority in my life most of the time. I confess that I often choose to go my own way rather than wait on You. Lord, I pray that You will fill me with Your spirit. I pray that I can remember the work You have done in my life and that I will release the white-knuckle grip I have on my future. I pray that I will remember your words, "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21 Lord, I give You control over All of my life; my past, present and future, my children, my husband, my plans and my dreams. I trust that You have an eternal perspective and I trust You hand in it all. Thank You Lord that You are infinitely patient with me. Thank You Lord that You love me even with all my flaws. Thank You for Your word that does change people. Thank You for the people You have placed in my life to help point me back to You.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
The online study I am involved in is using the book "Let. It. Go." by Karen Ehman. I am learning a lot in just the first few chapters. I am learning where I struggle most and how to give it up to God. My prayer is that I will continue to let go and let God and walk away from my pride and fully trust Him with the results.
Lord,
I confess that I struggle with control. I confess that my pride and mistrust usurps Your authority in my life most of the time. I confess that I often choose to go my own way rather than wait on You. Lord, I pray that You will fill me with Your spirit. I pray that I can remember the work You have done in my life and that I will release the white-knuckle grip I have on my future. I pray that I will remember your words, "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21 Lord, I give You control over All of my life; my past, present and future, my children, my husband, my plans and my dreams. I trust that You have an eternal perspective and I trust You hand in it all. Thank You Lord that You are infinitely patient with me. Thank You Lord that You love me even with all my flaws. Thank You for Your word that does change people. Thank You for the people You have placed in my life to help point me back to You.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
Thursday, February 7, 2013
My tendency to control
Hello, my name is Christina and I have the tendency to control. I am an enabler and martyr. I use these means to control people and situations. I like to control all aspects of my home, even how the dishwasher is loaded and the towels are folded. I like to 'help' others with projects and activities and wind up taking a lead most of the time. I have often thought I was a lost cause, but I have Hope!
The Lord is working in me. He wants me to have peace and be free to Let. It. Go. I am so excited for this book by Karen Ehman and the online bible study with Melissa Taylor.
I hope to learn how to let go of the unimportant and to relax a bit. I hope to learn how to focus on what really is important and not let other things control me.I hope to be able to say that my trust is fully in the Lord and I give Him full control of my life.
The Lord is working in me. He wants me to have peace and be free to Let. It. Go. I am so excited for this book by Karen Ehman and the online bible study with Melissa Taylor.
I hope to learn how to let go of the unimportant and to relax a bit. I hope to learn how to focus on what really is important and not let other things control me.I hope to be able to say that my trust is fully in the Lord and I give Him full control of my life.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Dull....
God has done some amazing things in my life. First and foremost, He drew me in and Saved me. He loved me when I was unlovable and drowning in sin. That right there should be enough.
Yet, He also molded and changed me into a more loving and compassionate person. He walked with me through some very dark times. He held me when I was scared. He carried me when I couldn't walk anymore on my own. He brought me into the sunshine from the dark and healed my broken heart.
And with all of that, I still became dull in my love for Him. I'm not even really sure when or how it happened. It was a slow fade. I think I just became complacent. Things that were supposed to happen, weren't and things that weren't supposed to happen, were. I wasn't on fire anymore and was impatient and demanding, with Him and others in my life.
However, in His great love, He was infinitely patient with me. He sent others to love on me and gently show me where I was lacking and being impatient. It was a number of small conversations and realizations that made me aware of my dull and dry life.
And slowly, with prayer, love and patience, He ignited the fire in me again. I have found a new zest for Him and for His word. I feel His presence again. I am excited to be in His word. Worship brings me to tears at times and continues to fill me with joy. I don't have a recipe or process to share. All I can say is that I'm so thankful He is faithful.
Oh, and the things that were supposed to happen still aren't happening yet and the things that weren't supposed to happen are still happening. But my God is big and He is in control and I have turned back to my first love.
The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3
Yet, He also molded and changed me into a more loving and compassionate person. He walked with me through some very dark times. He held me when I was scared. He carried me when I couldn't walk anymore on my own. He brought me into the sunshine from the dark and healed my broken heart.
And with all of that, I still became dull in my love for Him. I'm not even really sure when or how it happened. It was a slow fade. I think I just became complacent. Things that were supposed to happen, weren't and things that weren't supposed to happen, were. I wasn't on fire anymore and was impatient and demanding, with Him and others in my life.
However, in His great love, He was infinitely patient with me. He sent others to love on me and gently show me where I was lacking and being impatient. It was a number of small conversations and realizations that made me aware of my dull and dry life.
And slowly, with prayer, love and patience, He ignited the fire in me again. I have found a new zest for Him and for His word. I feel His presence again. I am excited to be in His word. Worship brings me to tears at times and continues to fill me with joy. I don't have a recipe or process to share. All I can say is that I'm so thankful He is faithful.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:2
Oh, and the things that were supposed to happen still aren't happening yet and the things that weren't supposed to happen are still happening. But my God is big and He is in control and I have turned back to my first love.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Christmas ramblings!
Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I love the lights, the trees, the candy, the presents, all of it! I do know that Christmas isn't about all these things, but I love them anyway.
I also love to give gifts. I love to find the perfect gift for someone and to watch them as they open it. Even if I'm not the giver, I love to watch others receive. Sometimes it is hard to wait.
One year, I knew what my dad had bought for my older brother and I couldn't wait for him to finally open it. Being a young adult, he was acting all cool about it and was really slow in the opening part. It was killing me! I kept repeating, "Open, open, open!" (that was the year Mervyn's had the commercial where the woman would stand at the door and say that).
When I was a young mom with only 2 kids, I did the Santa thing. One year, I was telling my step-mom about the gifts I purchased for the kids. I bought one of them a deeply desired game for the game boy and the other a Barbie carnival thing. She asked if those were the Santa gifts and I said "No, Santa is bringing them clothes." She was shocked and told me that Santa was supposed to bring the biggest, best gift. My response was "I don't want some mythical guy getting the credit for these great gifts! I want them to know I picked them!" This is one of the reasons we don't do Santa now. :) Remembering this always makes me laugh!
We have 8 children to buy for now. And, we simplify the giving. We give our kids 3 gifts and their stockings. One is something to wear, one is something to read and one is something they want. The something to wear is always pajamas and we open this on Christmas Eve.Then we have cocoa and watch a movie. This is one of my favorite traditions we have in our family.
Our hope is that the 3 gifts helps them to remember that the wise-men brought Jesus 3 gifts that first Christmas so long ago. Just a small way to keep the heart on what's important.
I also love to give gifts. I love to find the perfect gift for someone and to watch them as they open it. Even if I'm not the giver, I love to watch others receive. Sometimes it is hard to wait.
One year, I knew what my dad had bought for my older brother and I couldn't wait for him to finally open it. Being a young adult, he was acting all cool about it and was really slow in the opening part. It was killing me! I kept repeating, "Open, open, open!" (that was the year Mervyn's had the commercial where the woman would stand at the door and say that).
When I was a young mom with only 2 kids, I did the Santa thing. One year, I was telling my step-mom about the gifts I purchased for the kids. I bought one of them a deeply desired game for the game boy and the other a Barbie carnival thing. She asked if those were the Santa gifts and I said "No, Santa is bringing them clothes." She was shocked and told me that Santa was supposed to bring the biggest, best gift. My response was "I don't want some mythical guy getting the credit for these great gifts! I want them to know I picked them!" This is one of the reasons we don't do Santa now. :) Remembering this always makes me laugh!
We have 8 children to buy for now. And, we simplify the giving. We give our kids 3 gifts and their stockings. One is something to wear, one is something to read and one is something they want. The something to wear is always pajamas and we open this on Christmas Eve.Then we have cocoa and watch a movie. This is one of my favorite traditions we have in our family.
Our hope is that the 3 gifts helps them to remember that the wise-men brought Jesus 3 gifts that first Christmas so long ago. Just a small way to keep the heart on what's important.
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Baby Steps
I have felt for awhile that God is calling me to do something, only I don't know what. I spent a lot of time wondering and praying about the what. Eventually, I realized that He wants me to start somewhere. He is asking me to take a step and see where it leads.
I believe one of those steps is to reach out and help a hurting person. I have been blessed to facilitate a group which helps people walk through grief. Having walked through grief myself, I can share with them the day to day struggles that come with healing. I can also be a light and a hope to how God can and will heal if we wait on Him and trust Him.
I still don't know where God is taking me, but I am taking His lead and have faith that He has something for me.
As we finish up our first session of our group, I'm reminded of God's grace and His great love for us. He walks with us through difficult times and comforts us as we allow Him to heal us. And then He brings other people to us to walk with in their difficult time. And I'm realizing that the greatest healing of all comes from reaching out and helping someone else. Amazing how He works.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulations, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
I believe one of those steps is to reach out and help a hurting person. I have been blessed to facilitate a group which helps people walk through grief. Having walked through grief myself, I can share with them the day to day struggles that come with healing. I can also be a light and a hope to how God can and will heal if we wait on Him and trust Him.
I still don't know where God is taking me, but I am taking His lead and have faith that He has something for me.
As we finish up our first session of our group, I'm reminded of God's grace and His great love for us. He walks with us through difficult times and comforts us as we allow Him to heal us. And then He brings other people to us to walk with in their difficult time. And I'm realizing that the greatest healing of all comes from reaching out and helping someone else. Amazing how He works.
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulations, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
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