We survived our first year!!!

This month marked one year from the day we loaded up the van and drove out of Washington State.

August 4, 2013 was a Sunday. We went to church at Calvary Chapel Olympia, a place we called home for 13 years. We said some tearful goodbyes and some 'See ya laters' because goodbye was too painful! One friend and I even have an agreement that we will just pretend we keep missing one another on Sundays for the entire time, cause we are both too wimpy.

After church, we drove home, ate lunch and loaded up. We had to say goodbye to our neighbors and Grandma came by. We all tried to pretend we were brave but there were more than a few tears shed. The next thing you know, we were pulling out of our driveway, saying goodbye to our house (of 8 years) and hitting the road.

I am so thankful to my Aunt Cheryl for venturing 3,000 miles in 10 days with us. I know I couldn't have done it without her. She helped keep kids in line and me sane! I am also thankful to the kids who behaved very well. Driving all that way is hard enough as an adult. As usual, my kids blew me away with their awesomeness!!

To say I didn't want to come here would be an understatement. I came here kicking and screaming (in my passive/aggressive introverted way) and began counting down the days of our return. There were many days when I sat heartbroken, missing my kids, missing my friends, missing my life. I was less than cooperative and a huge pain to my husband, although he won't say that. I was certain that I would never recover.

But God has a way of working things out. He brought people and situations into my life and I began to loosen the grip on what was and look towards what was to be. I took some risks and tried things I never thought I would try and met some fabulous people!

Just a few things this past year has taught me:

• God will often take you where you don't want to go, to produce in you what you can't produce on your own.
• I can drive clear across the U.S. with 5 children, in a monster (12 passenger) van, and have fun!
• My kids are awesome (I knew this already)! Every day they show me how flexible and resilient they are.
• It's ok to take some time and adjust, to throw a little fit every once in awhile; as long as you focus back on what is important.
• Following God, supporting my husband, and loving him and my children is the most important thing.
• I might actually miss this place, just a little!

We are adjusting. We have found a new church home that each of us can feel comfortable at. We are making friends and getting more involved both at church and near home.

There are still 4 pieces of my heart missing; Zach in Nevada and Nathan, Cortnie and Nevaeh-Jade in Washington. We aren't able to see them near as much as we would like.

I know God is working in me and in my family. He is stretching and growing us. He is bringing us closer together and showing us a little more what He has planned for us. He is shaping our children into amazing young men and women. And He is still working in all things.

I am excited to see what this next year will bring as He continues to direct our steps.

Father-Daughter Dance, One way God shows His love

Chloe and Dan are off to the Father-Daughter dance. She looks beautiful in her purple dress with her hair in curls, and she is so happy!

Getting ready!

Ever since Dan mentioned the dance, I have thought about how good God is! To me, this dance is more than just a fun outing for them. It is evidence that God cares. He lovingly walks with us and often carries us and He blesses us so much.

Chloe has never been to a Father-Daughter dance with her daddy. Her daddy was diagnosed with brain cancer when she was only 3 and he died right before she was 5. She was too young or he was too sick to ever go with him.

Chloe and her daddy, April 2006

In the years after her daddy died, God showed us His love and compassion and comfort and goodness. He truly is "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows." Psalm 68:5

We are blessed with great family and friends who cared for us. One year, when she was 6, Uncle John escorted her to a dance at our church. She was super excited and I was so blessed.

Uncle John and Chloe going to the dance.

And then, God brought Dan into our lives. He chose to take on all of us and has loved us faithfully. He loves all the children just as though they were his own. He has filled a hole and helps heal the hurt.

So tonight, Chloe is honored to go to the Father-Daughter dance with her daddy.

Dan and Chloe on the way to the dance

I know that they will have a great time. They will laugh and dance and make some wonderful memories. And I believe her daddy is smiling and he is thanking God for bringing Dan to us, to love and care for us on earth.

The Grandma Club

I joined a club today, the Grandma club. Nevaeh-Jade Marie Hamilton joined our family this morning at 6:08 am PST. She is a tiny peanut, just 5 lb 11 oz and 17.5 inches. She made an exciting entrance 18 days early.


I received a call at 3 am (EST) and heard "I'm sorry mom but my water broke and I am having contractions. I'm at the hospital and in labor." She was saying sorry to me? I quickly reassured her that she had nothing to be sorry for and that I wished I could be there but I would be waiting for the news and to please have someone keep me updated and to remember that I love her.

Then I sent her gushy text messages reminding her that she was capable and beautiful and strong and amazing and that I loved her and would pray for all to go smoothly. Things I would say if I could be there.

Oh, waiting has not been my strong suit, ever, and this waiting was really hard. Three thousand miles separated me from my dear daughter while she was giving birth for the first time. Talk about anxiety! I only rested a little while more for the night.

Later in the morning, my sister called to give me an update. It seemed everything was fine and the next thing we know, she tells me that they don't know what is going on but something happened and someone said c-section and no one really knows and no one is telling them anything. Then the phone decided to cut out!

I couldn't breathe and my heart stopped for a minute. There are only a few times I have been that scared! There was nothing I could do. Nothing at all. I know there would be nothing I could do if I was there either but being here made me feel so helpless. My baby girl was struggling and I couldn't do anything for her. I thought of how worried she must be and there was no one with her!

I was at the mercy of my sister, the nurses information and poor cell phone reception.  For a moment I almost lost it completely. A dozen scenarios rushed through my mind and not a single one of them had a favorable outcome. And then God grabbed my heart and began to calm me. My sweet, dear husband held me and prayed over me. Peace replaced the fear and I was of sound mind again.

 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

Eventually I was able to speak with my wonderful sister and learned that everyone was OK. The baby's heart rate dropped so a c-section was needed. My daughter had to be put under and the waking up was rough but both momma and baby were fine.

It was a few hours before I could speak with my daughter. Once I heard her voice, raspy from the tube, my momma's heart was calmed. Pictures came flooding in, thanks again to my wonderful sister and niece and the baby's other grandma, aunt and family.

And through it all, even when I couldn't feel it, God was there. He was carrying me. How quickly I begin to panic when I know better. He is always there and always will be. He will never leave me nor forsake me. I know this full well!

“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Precious Bundle!

It has been an emotional day! Every one is tired and I am super duper excited. I can't wait to hold that little bundle of love. I haven't even seen her with my eyes and I already love her so much. I am thankful that the Lord protected them both and for His love and caring.

I am excited to be in the Grandma club and I am looking forward to meeting this special little girl.

Plenty of blond hair!

Sweet baby feet!

Psalm 84:2

I am participating in the Proverbs 31 Made to Crave online bible study. This is the second time I have been through this study with Proverbs 31. As I began, again, I wanted to make this time different. For me, it is not so much about diet and food as it is craving other things in place of God.

One way I decided to enrich the study for myself, is to participate in the blog hop and focus on the verse mapping.

Psalm 84:2 is the verse for the first week.

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord, my heart and my flesh cry out for the  living God.

soul = the spirit, inner man
yearns = longs, desires, craves
faints = grows weak
cry out= shout
*www.biblegateway.com, www.merriam-webster.com, www.blueletterbible.org*


This verse means to me:

My inner person craves, grows weak with desire, for the presence of the Lord, my heart and flesh shout for the living God.

 My soul was created by God to need Him. When I am craving other things, it is because that inner person, my soul, is weak with desire for the presence of the Lord in my life at that moment. My soul is literally shouting out with desire to fill the void. I need to take those opportunities and reach out to Him in prayer and study His word to see what He has for me instead of reaching for food or technology to fill the void.

I am looking forward to more learning in this study and my prayer is that I will seek Him to fill the void and not try to fill it with other things.

Lord,
Thank You for being a God who hears our cry. I pray that during this study, and each day after, I will turn to You when I feel that void and begin to crave something. I pray that I will seek You daily so that I will not have an emptiness in need of filling. Help me to see You and the work You are doing in my life. I pray for Your wisdom and direction as I dig into Your word. Thank You Lord that You are a God who sees and desires to meet with me.
In Jesus Name, Amen

Our homeschool space transformation!

On the second morning of January, I saw a friend post about her newly organized school space! It was beautiful! I began to covet her space and searched until I found the right shelving unit at Ikea. I even talked my hubby into going with me to get it! We made a date out of it and even bought the little princess a table and chairs for her tea.

I wanted to share our transformation. I do not have a school room because we don't have an extra room to use and it is easier to have everyone downstairs near or at the table. We do have a large space for bookshelves and such. Because I am a bookaholic, I have lots and lots and lots of books that fill up the shelves. We usually have our working books mixed in with the rest and it created a mess after many hands removed and replaced them. I wanted something more functional.

This is what we started with:

The rolling tote and the Large Utility Tote so that we could have our CC items ready for Tuesdays. The other two boys had their books mixed in with everything else in the bookshelf. And the preschool stuff I wanted to use with the little princess was somewhere on the shelf too.

I bought one 2 X 4 Expedit unit and one 2 X 2 at Ikea. I bought the white because it was cheaper and I figured it would match almost anything.

This is the 2 X 2 unit

We had to move the big bookcase over to make room for both units and the corkboard. My hubby and the boys were good sports and seemed to enjoy putting it together. While they did that, Chloe helped me put together the table and chairs for little princess.

The little princess using her table

The process took Dan and I until after 11. At that point, all the pieces were put together and the cork-board re-hung.

I spent most of the next day filling it up and rearranging. It is still a work in progress but I am so pleased with the way it is now.

I love my new space!!!

Happy 2014!!!

Happy New Year! 

We rang in the New Year as we do almost every year, with movies, junk food and sparkling cider at midnight. I fell asleep a few times but managed to be awake for the strike of 12. And I was able to speak with my mom and sister too!

At dinner last night, we were discussing our favorite parts of last year. Caitlin walking was at the top of the list for me and Dan. Moving here, new friendships, zoo birthday party and sleepover, and new friendships and opportunities were on the list for everyone as well. The thing I am most grateful for is that we are all together as a family.

I love the new year because it is a time for new opportunities. I can close the door on all I fell short on last year and begin anew.

This year, I am choosing to focus on more time with God in prayer and in His word. I am also going to focus on Grace, for myself and others. I am going to focus on my family and the things I enjoy and I am going to set a goal to blog about our life here more often. Not that I think anyone else really is all that interested but because I think it is an easy way to keep track of life and I have a dream to write a book too so this is a good way to start.

Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. John 1:16

My prayer this year is for a renewed fire for God and His word. I pray my words and actions will show His love and grace. I pray that I can encourage and comfort others.

Thank you Lord for all that You have blessed me with. Thank You for new opportunities, new years and new days to start new. Thank You for the work You are doing. Help me to give Your love and grace to others. Help me to be an encouragement and support. 

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Do you have goals or hopes or dreams for 2014? If you post them in the comments I will pray for you and them this coming year.

Blessings,

Christina

What a difference a decade makes!

We are full into the Christmas season, complete with a snow day this week! The tree is up, ornaments on and even managed a few outdoor decorations. I love Christmas and always have. Even before I was a Christian, I knew there was something special about this time of year. My parents did a good job making it special for us too!

This year is different for my family because we are thousands of miles away from those we usually spend Christmas with. Of course so are most of the families around us, so I feel kind of whiny even mentioning it.

This isn't the first time we have been away. Ten years ago, November 2004, I was married to an Army Warrant Officer and we had just arrived in Weisbaden, Germany. In fact, at this time that year, he was in Iraq for what was supposed to be at least 6 months. We had 4 kids and I was pregnant with #5. I remember being so depressed and feeling so sorry for myself! I cried a lot and missed home so much. I was certain that it was the worst thing to be on the other side of the world and to have my hubby gone.

If I had known then what was to happen in the following 2 years, I'm pretty sure I would have looked at that time differently. Just 7 weeks later we learned our unborn baby girl had some very severe complications and they sent my husband home on emergency leave. Her story is told here: Mollie's blog in the 2011 posts. She battled hard after her early birth but a mere 33 days later she went to be with the Lord. After only 6 months in Europe, we headed back to Washington with heavy hearts. A few months after arriving there, my healthy and strong 34 year old husband was diagnosed with brain cancer. The young man who had served his country; first in the Marine Corps and then in the Army; for 16 years and fought in war zones three different times, was facing his greatest and last battle. He fought hard and admirably for 2 years. July 2006, we said goodbye to him as we stood by his side at his last breath.

A decade has passed since the beginning of that very difficult time. The Lord is faithful and He brought peace and comfort in my grief, He brought new experiences and He turned ashes into beauty. He brought me another love who was brave enough to take on me and my children. And He brought us a new adventure.

When we received our orders to Virginia this past May, I thought about how it is so much like God to work things out in ironic ways. Exactly 10 years and He again took me away from all I knew and put me in a place where I am completely dependent on Him. At times I struggle with loneliness, depression and anxiety, wondering what will happen this time around. Yet the Lord is still faithful, even to a sometimes faithless and fearful sinner such as me. I know that He is and will continue to do amazing things with and through my family.

The difference this time is that I know He will be there, no matter what! Even though I struggle, I turn back to Him and trust Him. I have walked through the valley and He was right beside me. I'm learning to grow where I'm placed and to find joy in everything.

Although it's hard, I can say 'It is my joy to say, Your Will, Your Way!'