Psalm 84:2

I am participating in the Proverbs 31 Made to Crave online bible study. This is the second time I have been through this study with Proverbs 31. As I began, again, I wanted to make this time different. For me, it is not so much about diet and food as it is craving other things in place of God.

One way I decided to enrich the study for myself, is to participate in the blog hop and focus on the verse mapping.

Psalm 84:2 is the verse for the first week.

My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord, my heart and my flesh cry out for the  living God.

soul = the spirit, inner man
yearns = longs, desires, craves
faints = grows weak
cry out= shout
*www.biblegateway.com, www.merriam-webster.com, www.blueletterbible.org*


This verse means to me:

My inner person craves, grows weak with desire, for the presence of the Lord, my heart and flesh shout for the living God.

 My soul was created by God to need Him. When I am craving other things, it is because that inner person, my soul, is weak with desire for the presence of the Lord in my life at that moment. My soul is literally shouting out with desire to fill the void. I need to take those opportunities and reach out to Him in prayer and study His word to see what He has for me instead of reaching for food or technology to fill the void.

I am looking forward to more learning in this study and my prayer is that I will seek Him to fill the void and not try to fill it with other things.

Lord,
Thank You for being a God who hears our cry. I pray that during this study, and each day after, I will turn to You when I feel that void and begin to crave something. I pray that I will seek You daily so that I will not have an emptiness in need of filling. Help me to see You and the work You are doing in my life. I pray for Your wisdom and direction as I dig into Your word. Thank You Lord that You are a God who sees and desires to meet with me.
In Jesus Name, Amen

Our homeschool space transformation!

On the second morning of January, I saw a friend post about her newly organized school space! It was beautiful! I began to covet her space and searched until I found the right shelving unit at Ikea. I even talked my hubby into going with me to get it! We made a date out of it and even bought the little princess a table and chairs for her tea.

I wanted to share our transformation. I do not have a school room because we don't have an extra room to use and it is easier to have everyone downstairs near or at the table. We do have a large space for bookshelves and such. Because I am a bookaholic, I have lots and lots and lots of books that fill up the shelves. We usually have our working books mixed in with the rest and it created a mess after many hands removed and replaced them. I wanted something more functional.

This is what we started with:

The rolling tote and the Large Utility Tote so that we could have our CC items ready for Tuesdays. The other two boys had their books mixed in with everything else in the bookshelf. And the preschool stuff I wanted to use with the little princess was somewhere on the shelf too.

I bought one 2 X 4 Expedit unit and one 2 X 2 at Ikea. I bought the white because it was cheaper and I figured it would match almost anything.

This is the 2 X 2 unit

We had to move the big bookcase over to make room for both units and the corkboard. My hubby and the boys were good sports and seemed to enjoy putting it together. While they did that, Chloe helped me put together the table and chairs for little princess.

The little princess using her table

The process took Dan and I until after 11. At that point, all the pieces were put together and the cork-board re-hung.

I spent most of the next day filling it up and rearranging. It is still a work in progress but I am so pleased with the way it is now.

I love my new space!!!

Happy 2014!!!

Happy New Year! 

We rang in the New Year as we do almost every year, with movies, junk food and sparkling cider at midnight. I fell asleep a few times but managed to be awake for the strike of 12. And I was able to speak with my mom and sister too!

At dinner last night, we were discussing our favorite parts of last year. Caitlin walking was at the top of the list for me and Dan. Moving here, new friendships, zoo birthday party and sleepover, and new friendships and opportunities were on the list for everyone as well. The thing I am most grateful for is that we are all together as a family.

I love the new year because it is a time for new opportunities. I can close the door on all I fell short on last year and begin anew.

This year, I am choosing to focus on more time with God in prayer and in His word. I am also going to focus on Grace, for myself and others. I am going to focus on my family and the things I enjoy and I am going to set a goal to blog about our life here more often. Not that I think anyone else really is all that interested but because I think it is an easy way to keep track of life and I have a dream to write a book too so this is a good way to start.

Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. John 1:16

My prayer this year is for a renewed fire for God and His word. I pray my words and actions will show His love and grace. I pray that I can encourage and comfort others.

Thank you Lord for all that You have blessed me with. Thank You for new opportunities, new years and new days to start new. Thank You for the work You are doing. Help me to give Your love and grace to others. Help me to be an encouragement and support. 

In Jesus Name,

Amen

Do you have goals or hopes or dreams for 2014? If you post them in the comments I will pray for you and them this coming year.

Blessings,

Christina

What a difference a decade makes!

We are full into the Christmas season, complete with a snow day this week! The tree is up, ornaments on and even managed a few outdoor decorations. I love Christmas and always have. Even before I was a Christian, I knew there was something special about this time of year. My parents did a good job making it special for us too!

This year is different for my family because we are thousands of miles away from those we usually spend Christmas with. Of course so are most of the families around us, so I feel kind of whiny even mentioning it.

This isn't the first time we have been away. Ten years ago, November 2004, I was married to an Army Warrant Officer and we had just arrived in Weisbaden, Germany. In fact, at this time that year, he was in Iraq for what was supposed to be at least 6 months. We had 4 kids and I was pregnant with #5. I remember being so depressed and feeling so sorry for myself! I cried a lot and missed home so much. I was certain that it was the worst thing to be on the other side of the world and to have my hubby gone.

If I had known then what was to happen in the following 2 years, I'm pretty sure I would have looked at that time differently. Just 7 weeks later we learned our unborn baby girl had some very severe complications and they sent my husband home on emergency leave. Her story is told here: Mollie's blog in the 2011 posts. She battled hard after her early birth but a mere 33 days later she went to be with the Lord. After only 6 months in Europe, we headed back to Washington with heavy hearts. A few months after arriving there, my healthy and strong 34 year old husband was diagnosed with brain cancer. The young man who had served his country; first in the Marine Corps and then in the Army; for 16 years and fought in war zones three different times, was facing his greatest and last battle. He fought hard and admirably for 2 years. July 2006, we said goodbye to him as we stood by his side at his last breath.

A decade has passed since the beginning of that very difficult time. The Lord is faithful and He brought peace and comfort in my grief, He brought new experiences and He turned ashes into beauty. He brought me another love who was brave enough to take on me and my children. And He brought us a new adventure.

When we received our orders to Virginia this past May, I thought about how it is so much like God to work things out in ironic ways. Exactly 10 years and He again took me away from all I knew and put me in a place where I am completely dependent on Him. At times I struggle with loneliness, depression and anxiety, wondering what will happen this time around. Yet the Lord is still faithful, even to a sometimes faithless and fearful sinner such as me. I know that He is and will continue to do amazing things with and through my family.

The difference this time is that I know He will be there, no matter what! Even though I struggle, I turn back to Him and trust Him. I have walked through the valley and He was right beside me. I'm learning to grow where I'm placed and to find joy in everything.

Although it's hard, I can say 'It is my joy to say, Your Will, Your Way!'

And the journey begins!

You probably already heard the news with all of my Facebook activity! Dan was selected at the Chaplaincy board, commissioned and given orders. We are moving to Quantico Marine Corp Base in Quantico, Virginia, in 2 months.

Wow is about all I can say right now. We are so blessed for this change. Dan has worked very hard for a long time and has faced a lot of difficulties in trying to get here. He worked 40+ hours a week while going to Seminary and volunteering in ministry. Often his worked required him to travel which caused missed classes and deadlines. But, he persevered. God gave him the strength and ability to keep going!

We are a military family, at the roots. My dad served, Dan's dad served, many uncles and cousins have and continue to serve. We understand the military life, we have lived it. While we are very excited for this new adventure, I find myself a little anxious too.

Ten years ago, in April 2003, we loaded up our van with 4 kids (age 12, 9, 1.5 and 4 months) and drove from Washington State to Huntsville, Alabama. My husband had been selected to be a Warrant Officer in the Army. We were excited for the adventure. We would spend 6 months in Alabama while he attended school and then head off to Weisbaden Germany! We had so many plans and hopes and ideas for what we would do. While in Alabama, we learned we were expecting again. This baby would be born overseas. In November he finished school and off we went. We arrived in Germany and moved in to our housing. A month later he deployed to Iraq. I thought the hardest thing I would ever have to do would be to raise 4 children and birth a new baby alone in a foreign country while my husband proudly served with his unit in Iraq. Little did I know, much more would be asked of me.

About 8 weeks after we arrived, I learned that my baby had a rare brain malformation. There was a flurry of activity, I was admitted to the hospital for an indefinite amount of time, my husband was called back from Iraq. Sweet Miss Mollie was born and after only 33 days she went to heaven to be with Jesus. That time was so hard and yet so beautiful. God showed me His presence in so many ways. I was blessed. Her story is found here: http://molliechristina.blogspot.com/2011/03/when-life-was-turned-inside-out.html.

With broken hearts, we decided to come back to Washington State to heal. We were embraced by our friends and family and our church. God was right beside us. Four months after returning, my husband was diagnosed with brain cancer. We also learned we were expecting again. It was like getting sucker punched. Again, God was there and present in everything. For 2 years he bravely battled cancer; undergoing surgery, radiation and a lot of chemotherapy. He relearned to walk more than once. However, after 2 years, he won the ultimate battle and left us on this earth. I am fully confident that he heard the words, "Well done good and faithful servant." as he entered heaven that day and met our Savior Jesus Christ and embraced our baby girl.

Again, God was with me and the children. It wasn't easy but He filled in the gaps and carried us. Two years later I was blessed to meet a wonderful, Godly man. A year later we married. I knew from the beginning that he wanted to and was called to become a Navy Chaplain. I had to decide from the start if I could support that. Obviously the answer was Yes!

So now we are here, 10 years later, heading off for another adventure. I am excited and so blessed to be able to support my sweet husband in his calling. However, I am scared and anxious too. I have done the adventure and from human eyes it didn't work out so well! But I know that God has a plan. He never left my side and He will be there in this as well.

I don't really need to hear about how I need to have strong faith and how if or when I am more mature in my faith I won't doubt or be scared. I believe I have a strong faith. I have and still do trust God in all things. Yet, I am still human. I still fear at times until I turn it back to Him. What I need to hear, and what my children need to hear and what my sweet hubby needs to hear is "We are praying for you." and maybe throw in a "Congratulations!" We will have an adventure. We will follow God's plan for us. We will trust Him in all the unknown and all the changes.

With trembling fingers and a tear in my eye, I will stand by my husband, grasp his hand, and step out into this new adventure. I have no idea what will come but I put my trust fully in He who does, Jesus, my Lord and Savior.

Let the adventure begin!!

On My Knees and Blessed

This week, in "Stressed-Less Living", we read about the things in our lives that cause our stress. I completed an exercise where I listed out what the problem was, how it makes me feel, how it affects my life and whether or not I have control or the power to change it.

I learned that the majority of my major stressors are out of my control and I have absolutely no power to change them. That should make me feel better, but it doesn't. The reason it doesn't is because I have been unwilling to give them up to God and allow Him to keep them. I want to be able to do this. The exercise also encouraged a conversation with the Lord. My prayer is below:

Lord,
I confess that I am often stressed over things that are out of my control. I have let these things affect my relationship with You and with others. Lord, I want to be free of these burdens and how they affect my life. I pray that You will take these problems from my shoulders and You will work in them, in Your time. I pray for Your peace that passes my understanding as I wait on You for the solutions and answers. Help me to continue to turn these things over to You when I want to pull back and worry. I pray that I will allow You to work. Thank You Lord that You care about me and all that is going on in my life. I thank You that You love me and You will always be there beside me. 
In Jesus Name,
Amen

Some of the stressors in my life seem pretty huge and daunting. I am challenged to seek the blessings that I have as I wait on the Lord. I shared some of my blessings in my last post, here are some more.

I am thankful for:

• My daughter's Physical and Occupational therapists who work hard with her every week to help her to walk and also help me to not be worried over her delays.
• My children who help out around the house.
• My husband's job which provides for our family and allows me to stay home with our children.
• The ministry opportunity that my husband and I have to help grieving people in their healing.
• The mild weather we have here in the Pacific NW.
• My online bible study sisters who encourage and support me in this journey.

 I am learning so much in this study and look forward to what the Lord has for me.

My Stressed-Less Journey

This week I started a new online bible study with Proverbs 31 which uses the book "Stressed-Less Living" by Tracie Miles. We have just begun the adventure and I am already learning a lot.

I decided to join this study because I know I could use some insight and help on living life with less stress. We have a lot going on in our family. Currently, 5 of our 8 children live with us as well as our nephew. I am a director of a homeschool community, I support and facilitate ministry teams at church and try to homeschool my children in all of that. Life is very busy. And busyness often brings stress! I don't want to be the cranky mom or the nagging wife or the complainy friend. I want to be a calm person who is at peace with where God has me. I know that I need to give up my desires, plans and future to Him in order to have that.

My goal in this study is to learn to surrender to God, trust Him with the outcome and walk in His peace. One of the first steps in that is to realize my blessings. God has worked amazingly in my life and I am a truly blessed woman. Below are just a few of the things I am thankful for:

• I am thankful for my husband who works hard to provide for us and helps me continually grow in the Lord.
• I am thankful for my children who are a huge blessing to my life and keep me humble and help me to not be lazy.
• I am thankful for difficult relationships so that I can learn to love better.
• I am thankful for a house that constantly needs attention because it is FULL of the people I love!
• I am thankful for my mom living right down the street because she is often available to watch kids when I am in a pinch.
• I am thankful for the blessing of homeschooling my children because I can see them grow and be there when they have A Ha moments!
• I am thankful for my friends who hold me accountable and love me.
• I am thankful for this study and how God is going to use it to continue to shape and mold me.

These are just a few of the things I am thankful for. I look forward to what the Lord has to show me through this study.