The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying: "Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. Jeremiah 31:3
Yet, He also molded and changed me into a more loving and compassionate person. He walked with me through some very dark times. He held me when I was scared. He carried me when I couldn't walk anymore on my own. He brought me into the sunshine from the dark and healed my broken heart.
And with all of that, I still became dull in my love for Him. I'm not even really sure when or how it happened. It was a slow fade. I think I just became complacent. Things that were supposed to happen, weren't and things that weren't supposed to happen, were. I wasn't on fire anymore and was impatient and demanding, with Him and others in my life.
However, in His great love, He was infinitely patient with me. He sent others to love on me and gently show me where I was lacking and being impatient. It was a number of small conversations and realizations that made me aware of my dull and dry life.
And slowly, with prayer, love and patience, He ignited the fire in me again. I have found a new zest for Him and for His word. I feel His presence again. I am excited to be in His word. Worship brings me to tears at times and continues to fill me with joy. I don't have a recipe or process to share. All I can say is that I'm so thankful He is faithful.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Psalm 51:2
Oh, and the things that were supposed to happen still aren't happening yet and the things that weren't supposed to happen are still happening. But my God is big and He is in control and I have turned back to my first love.
